Sunday, June 13, 2004

For Many Perverts, The Wait Is Finally Over

Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen have now turned 18. So what? All across the internet, you can hear belts being unbuckled and zippers being unzipped as the untold multitudes of online pervs can now fap to pics of the Dynamic Duo without the guilt of being considered a pedophile. But where is the attraction?

I will admit, there was a time when it looked like the Olsen twins would turn out to be two of the most beautiful women in Hollywood. But if you look at recent pictures, it is apparent that they are trying out the "burned out Hollywood child star junkie" look early. I mean, just Google their images and you'll see what I mean. Not only does it seem that they have had some work done on their lips, especially Ashley, but it looks like they have decided to stop caring for themselves. The oily hair thing was over, or at least that was I was led to believe. Although the pervs out there all probably imagine what it would be like to spend the night with them, nobody wants to see what they would look like the next morning. And that's exactly what their recent pictures look like.

I'm hoping that they have played their last hand, and we will finally be rid of the both of them. They got all the money they need, maybe they should spend some of it on some shampoo and an island where they can stop assaulting us with their thereness. Unless they spend some more time looking presentable and not so much rubbing on each other like they were Tatu, they should be exiled to the Land Of Forgotten Toys.

But if they do a nude spread for Playboy, I'm totally buying that issue. For research. No, really.


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