Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Coming This Summer: Terror Attack II!

Holy Shit! We're all gonna die! This summer, the Department of Homeland Security has promised big things. Namely, a new terror attack. Tom Ridge(who is pictured above, looking like he just took a left hook from the Invisible Man), has stated that they have been given "very credible" reports that an al-Qaida attack is imminent. What is missing is the What, Where, and When that the teetotalers need in order to justify hiding under their desks for the rest of the year.

A possible motive for this renewed aggression is the idea of undermining Tom's precious new Department. If we were to lose our faith in Homeland Security's abilities to protect us from the insidious terrorists, those of us that had any faith in them in the first place, then we would have to re-evaluate the entire Department. Another thought is that a terrorist attack could influence the November elections. I don't see how attacking the U.S.A. is going to positively affect the elections for them, unless they blow up both candidates and Osama wins by a write-in.

Every couple of months we need to go through this whole "Aaaaahhh! Terrorists!" bullshit, and every time it turns out to be nonsense. I'm sure that they would have the common sense to wait until we weren't ready to launch an attack, like they did the first time. I also have been wondering about the timing of this warning. So close after the Abu Gharib prison scandal, and with the Nick Berg beheading not doing much to take the heat off the administration, this new alert smells of political distraction. But, that is just my conspiracy-monitor going off.


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