Monday, May 17, 2004

Bay To Breakers Brings Nudes Out Of The Woodwork


The famous Bay To Breakers marathon was run yesterday in the city of San Francisco. Apart from the obligatory teeming masses of Elvises and crossdressers, we were all treated to the customary appearance of very old people who feel it is their obligation to assault us with their nakedness. While I was not offended by the nudity per se, I must take issue with the physical attractiveness of these people.

Why can't some really hot girls do this, rather than wrinkly old men and even wrinklier old women? You knew children were going to be present. You could put them off from sex for the rest of their lives with such a display. I'm no Adonis myself, but you don't see me sauntering down the avenue with my schlong swinging in the breeze. Well, not all the time, at least.

By the way, the rolling bars were quite a sight. It was refreshing to see so many drunk people staggering down the streets of San Francisco at nine o'clock in the morning. I imbibed as well, getting into the spirit of the festivities.

All in all it was a good race, if you could call it that, since there were only two people who were even in competition. But that isn't the point of the Bay To Breakers. In fact, there really is no point to the Bay To Breakers, except to be weird. They couldn't have asked for a better location.