Friday, February 06, 2004

THIS JUST IN!

The US government, in an attempt to help streamline internal correspondence and, hopefully, win this War on Terror, have decided to phase out Courier New 12 as the de facto font for documents within the system.

"In response to many requests and with a view to making our written work easier to read, we are moving to a new standard font: 'Times New Roman 14'," said the obviously anti-Courier policymaking bigots within our rotten system, stating that the change would take place effective February 1st. Thanks for letting me know now! Do you realize how much time it's going to take to reformat all my documents?

When stopped outside a well known Beltway eatery, Courier New 12 said, " What? Now I'm not good enough for the Hill? I have been working my ass off for years and this is the thanks I get? I guess the 'New' in my name isn't quite new enough for Bush and his cronies! I'm sure [Times New Roman 14] feels pretty good about this, but I have children to feed!" The recently deposed font also commented that, "I have been in a lot of sensitive documents, you know! Who knows what could be leaked to the press if I am dismissed like this?"

Times New Roman 14's representatives had no official comment, except to say that C.N. 12 should "stop being such a whiny little bitch."

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