Thursday, February 26, 2004

My atheistic beliefs have been seriously shaken. Howard Stern has been taken off the air in accordance with ClearChannel's new zero tolerance obscenity stance. I'm sure that there are those of you who read this and actually like Howard's humor. For you, all I can say is, "HAHA!"

I have hated this immature buffoon's poor attempts at humor since the old days at WNBC in New York City. Yes, I have had to listen to him for the last twenty years, and no matter what morning shows I find, it seems that every person I carpool with is a Howard fan. I really don't understand why people find him funny, it's possibly a pack mentality kind of thing, but there are certainly a lot of you. Every time I would go to work, someone would utter the soul-withering phrase "Did you hear what Howard did this morning?" And the answer was always the same; he interviewed a porn star, or talked about the size of his dick, or otherwise did something that is not only inappropriate for a morning show audience, it's also completely inappropriate for radio! So you have a hot girl in your studio, so what? IT"S RADIO! We can't see her, and you always describe them the same way. You would think that someone who has been in the business for so long would understand this, but Howard has somehow missed it. All this, plus the fact that he just isn't funny, ever. I'm not saying that I'm insulted by the puerile things he says on the air, I'm not. I'm insulted by the fact that he thinks we should be laughing at the stupid shit he says. When he talks over the various sound clips that Robin plays incessantly, at least he should try to say something remotely humorous. But he can't even do that. And yet I meet people all the time that claim that he is the funniest guy on the radio. No, he's not. He's not even as funny as G. Paul Getty. He's not even as funny as Rush Limbaugh, and that guy makes me laugh and scream in a rage at the same time. Shit, Paul Harvey is funnier than him!

Well, now I don't have to worry about hearing any more idiotic stories about Howard's imbecilic antics for at least the next few days until ClearChannel caves in and lets him back on the air. Today he apparently told his bosses to fire him while he was making another one of his ridiculously misinformed rants. They should have taken him up on it.

Don't send me emails about how Howard is some sort of comedic genius and I just don't "get it". I don't want to "get it" if that means that I start braying like a jackass whenever he starts going off on another one of his very, very, very, unfunny tangents. Try this out at work if you think I don't know what I'm talking about. When you are conversing with a group of your coworkers, try interjecting with some of the sorts of things Stern would say on his show and see if you A) get fired B)get slapped with a sexual harassment suit, or C) are carried around on the shoulders of your colleagues and branded the new "Office Comedian". But update your resume first.


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