Wednesday, April 02, 2003

It seems the whole Sarah & No Name April Fools Day stunt kinda backfired on them. Alot of listeners had stated that they felt betrayed and would never listen to the show again. I've got news for you, it's just a radio show. How can you feel "betrayed"? Some people made the comment that they were pissed that this was just some media ploy to get ratings. That's what they are supposed to do! They don't work for tips guys, they work for ratings. They only way they can even dream to get raises in their salaries is to bring up ratings. Sometimes things like this work for increasing listenership for a show, sometimes it has the opposite effect. It seems that Sarah and No Name's show is now suffering from the latter.

Let's get a little background. Sarah and No Name told people last week that the CEO of Infinity Broadcasting had taken a trip out to San Francisco to rap with the bigwigs at Alice 97.3 about ratings. They proceeded to poke some minor fun at this guy, imitating him and the like. Apparently, he did not find the imitations amusing, and went on a tirade about how he felt they were insulting, and the show was not "family oriented". They were also admonished not to discuss the proceedings of the meeting while on the air the next morning. Of course, Sarah went off on it, and her boss showed up at the studio and glowered at them from the studio window for the duration of the program. He then chewed out Matty, the producer, and Sarah.
After that Friday show, things got weird. On Monday morning, there was no morning show. They played promos for a "new" morning show, starring Mike and Mallou, who are the hosts of the local edition of "Evening Magazine". On Tuesday morning the new show came on with only Mallou showing up(oops), and they basically trashed Sarah And No Name on the air. Most calls were initially negative of the change, but soon more and more callers voiced their opinion that the new show was a welcome change to what was termed as a stale format. At this point, Sarah and No Name decided that the joke was over, and came on to expose the ruse for what it was. This was when the proverbial shitstorm really hit the coast. People who claimed to be faithful listeners called in and said that they were hurt by the joke and were never going to listen again. I think this was a small population of folks who were looking for a reason to jump ship anyway.

If you listen to the same morning show day after day and the show never varies from it's regular routine, it can get old quick. The only thing that holds it together is the rapport the hosts have with each other, and with the audience. It can still be funny if the hosts are personalities that you genuinely like. This is why Howard Stern gets old to me about once every three to four minutes. Guys like this weren't funny in third grade, much less as supposed adults telling female callers to "go count the warts on their vaginas". Wow, that is a laugh-riot, Howie! All hail the king of all media! But I digress.

It is apparent that many people have discovered one of the dirty little secrets of morning shows: they are all the same. They are just like people. If you don't hang out with Baron Munchausen or Kid Rock, your friends lead lives depressingly like yours. They wake up, take a shit, get in the shower, go to work, watch TV, etc. What makes your best friend different than his or her neighbor is that indefinable quality that makes them more fun to hang around with. It could be having the same views of particular subjects, or differing views that you can debate ad infinitum. It could be that they make you laugh, or they make you think, or they have Playstation 2, or whatever. Morning radio shows are alot like that. You would rather listen to a friend blather on about their lives at six in the morning than a complete stranger, but sometimes the conversation gets predictable. I guess that most people thought that this was happening to Sarah and No Name. Or they were still pissed that Vinnie got fired a year ago. All I know is that alot more people decided to listen to some other stupid-ass morning show than those who toughed it out and stayed. I stayed for the above named reasons. I like listening to their voices, and I get all the inside jokes now. I'm not going to give that up in order to listen to Lamont & Tonelli or, even worse(ugh), Howard Stern. I'm glad they are back on the air, although it would have been nice if they had moved to a station with a better transmitter, because sometimes picking up Alice is like picking up SETI signals. Seriously. The fact that KFOG bought the next higher frequency(97.7) and push so many watts through the air that I get RF burns when I tune them in makes getting Alice that much harder.

Another thing about the April Fools joke with these guys was their guest hosting of Evening Magazine instead of Mike and Mallou. They pretended that they had switched jobs, and it was simply atrocious. If this had actually happened, both shows would have suffered greatly. It's true that there are some people who are more geared for radio, and there are some who are more TV'ish. Mallou is definitely eye-candy, but doesn't have a distinctive voice. Sarah and No Name have great voices, but have absolutely no talent for TV whatsoever. I don't think even I would have looked that uncomfortable on the screen, and I would have at least tried to learn my lines before showtime. These guys didn't even hide the fact that they were reading from scripts, because they were holding them in their hands the whole time. One more thing, guys: animation. Staring at the camera doesn't work for TV. Shaking your leg nervously doesn't, either. When Lurch and I created the "Lounge Videos", we didn't make these most basic of mistakes, and we were stoned most of the time during filming. I only hope that the experience of seeing these two on TV doesn't ruin the magic of their radio show for me, like when I fould out that most of the women you talk to on 976 chat lines are disgustingly obese rednecks. It sucks the magic right out of the experience, you know what I mean?

Yeah, you do, you fuckin' perverts.


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