Saturday, January 25, 2003

I went to the DK show at the Icon on Thursday, and let me just say that this was the first show in quite a while that I managed to stay sober all the way through the show. Please, keep your screams of disbelief down, I'm trying to write. Part of the reason I was able to accomplish this goal was using my friend Lauren as a ride. She takes lagging to a whole new plateau. It's like she's constantly set to daylight savings time: she will always be an hour late. Sooooooo, we missed the first two bands. I was extremely bummed by this as the Texas Thieves played first, and by all accounts, they were the best band that night. We also missed the Fuzz, but i don't know who those guys are, so let's just ignore them.

The Cliftons came out in their normal, haphazard way. The first few minutes were taken up by the rest of the band calling out for Billy Bob, the lead singer. He was high on mushrooms at the time and may have confused their calls with the voices in his head. Nevertheless, he eventually came to his senses and joined the rest of the band on stage. He displayed his prodigious gut, emblazoned with the words "Fuck Me", written with what appeared to be boot polish. And when he turned around, it was obvious that he was wearing a pink g-string under his jeans. Yes, you heard me right. Like I said, he was on mushrooms. As the band began, Billy Bob swayed around and kept in time as much as he could. I had read other reviews of Cliftons shows and was reminded of one journalist's description of Billy Bob's stage antics as "the stumbling around of a stubborn toddler". Well, the baby was definitely in the hizzie that night. My favorite part of the show: Billy Bob mooing like a cow loudly into the mic during "Rock Out". The show ended with all of the members careening into one another, then collapsing into the drumkit, while the crowd cheered an encouraging "Fuck You!!!".

After that, the Dead Kennedys came on. Now, these guys need a new image. I think they would have gotten a warmer welcome if they had just billed themselves as a DK cover band, rather than the real deal. Brandon Cruz, recently with Dr. Know and further back The Courtship Of Eddie's Father, was competent as a singer. Yet it felt like they were trying too hard. I can understand not liking the fact that, being one of the original punk bands, you got out-punked by all the opening bands, but that's what happened. Another big flop at the show: me pointing at Brandon and saying, "Hey! That guy's dad is the Incredible Hulk!". Only one person got that joke, and it made both of us feel old.

If you would like to know more about The Cliftons, go to Super Speedway Music and order their stuff. The t-shirts are in this year, but be advised: if you don't soak it in beer for at least twenty minutes, no one will believe that you went to one of their shows. The Texas Thieves actually have their own website, so you can take a gander at their shit, as well. I'm actually wearing one of their tees right now! Huzzah!

I don't know about the other guys, that's how much they impressed me. Refering to the top of this entry, I might as well have blacked out at the end of the show. DK was that boring.


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