Wednesday, December 18, 2002

I want you to read these brief news clippings and ask yourself, "What the hell is wrong with this country?" Not only do we have a poor duck imprisoned in an Ace Hardware sign, but there exists a seven year old grand theft auto repeat offender. That is some seriously sick shit. I especially like how the high school football star beats a crippled man because he looked at his girl. As if we didn't hate jocks enough as it is. Now they really go out of their way to provide us with material to use against them.

And let's thank the child from the second story for reinstalling a sense of pride in the next generation. He was so worried about being late getting to school that he stole a Jeep Cherokee, a wise choice if he needed to take a shortcut across the soccer field. But he's got good taste in vehicles, you have to give him that much. Cherokees, baby. Bling-Bling! This kid ain't satisfied with Hot Wheels, he rather have hot wheels. Get it?

What about that fucking cop slicing tires while drunk? What is he, fourteen? His parents should ground him and take away his allowance after a stunt like that. I'm assuming that they grow their cops a little stupider down in Temple Terrace, wherever the hell that is. Really, giving a man this dumb a gun should be a crime in itself.

Don't even get me started about the duck...

I'd like to apologize in advance for the relatively amateurish feel of today's post. I'm lit. I think that about says it all.

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