Monday, August 26, 2002

Who's the wrongerer?

Opie and Anthony may be immature, but did they really need to get fired over that little stint? I used to be a Catholic, so it's a little sacreligious boning in a church, I understand this. But why would a government agency bend to the will of a religious organisation? And not only that, but a bunch of pedophiles? I mean, the church can't exactly take the moral high ground on much of anything these days. They have made a mockery of one of the strongest religious sects in the world. And Opie and Anthony didn't exactly make them screw, they simply suggested that. I really feel for all the poor folks at WNEW who lost their jobs as a result. And now the Wlid 94.9 Doghouse is literally in the doghouse! Now, they may be the shittiest morning show in existence, I think they are, but kicking them off the air just adds to the controversy. As a result, you make them more popular. Now they can be seen as outlaw radio types. "Ooooh! Lookit me! I'm like Howard!" No, you're not. Howie has had his weak-ass radio show on for much longer than you, and look where he is now. Richer, but even more peurile than 15 years ago, when I first heard him and didn't think he was funny.

Just give these guys their jobs back and stop cowering from a religous organization whom God has abandoned already.

Or, whatever.

Thursday, August 15, 2002

Let this be a lesson to you. If you are going to go out and take ecstacy, make sure someone is with you who has at least a little common sense. This guy has to register as a sex offender because of this incident. Try explaining that to your cellmate. My favorite line in the story is, "The owner said he first thought young people were trying to ride the chestnut mare."

Well, they were. Kinda.

Wednesday, August 14, 2002

Poetic Injustice

This is so wrong! How can God frown on you in your final moment like that? This just goes to galvanise my presumption that The Big Guy doesn't exist at all. I mean, come on, the Almighty watches as you disappear into the distance,waits until that perfect moment, grabs the handlebars,twists, and crows, "Face! Scrub!" What a jerk! And it's not like you can chew him out or anything, considering you're dead, and you really want to move into his neighborhood. Sometimes omnipotence seems so fascist. That's it! God is like fucking Hitler! Jerk!

P.S. None of this is going to make sense until you read the article. Even then, it's still just imbecilic raving(see? I'm balancing out the rants!) with little coherent content. Fo' shizzie, my nizzie! Word...

Tuesday, August 13, 2002

Those bastards...

They didn't even ask me one question relating to all the crap I studied. I hate when that happens! Considering the limited resources of my memory, I probably had to dump some really good info for this now mostly useless knowledge. What are all those level patterns form Pac-Man? Did I or did I not read Johnny Tremain in Junior High? What was my bicycle lock combination? These are new mysteries in my life. In their place are definitions for different ATM services and the subtle nuances of the Transport Layer. On the brighter side, I believe that I have this job in the bag. The hours are pretty fucking horrible, but I'll do just about anything for a raise. Except that, pervert. Ask your hand first.

Monday, August 12, 2002

I seriously believe that my head is going to explode. Instead of cramming for my NOC interview tomorrow, I got caught up with enjoying my weekend(selfish pig that I am) and now I have put some real panic into the cram. One of the things I have to bone up on that I have no working knowledge of is ATMs. No, not the money machines. Want a little taste? Dig in...

"First, are nodal-level controls that operate in real time. These are implemented in hardware and include queues supporting different loss and delay priorities, fairly weighted queue-servicing algorithms, and rate controls that provide policing and traffic shaping. Well-designed switch-buffer architectures and capacity are critical to effective network operation. Actual network experience and simulation has indicated that large, dynamically allocated output buffers provide the flexibility to offer the best price performance for supporting various traffic types with guaranteed QoS. Dynamically managing buffer space means that all shared buffer space is flexibly allocated to VCs on an as-needed basis. Additionally, per virtual connection (VC) queuing enables traffic shaping, and early and partial packet-level discard have been shown to improve network performance significantly."

Kill me, please. Tomorrow I have to go to this interview and act like I understand what that means. The good thing is, I'll probably get throuh it without much of a problem. The bad thing is, I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight because of all the reading I have to do.

Friday, August 09, 2002

Sometimes a website just jumps out and bites you like a feral pig. It sings it's siren song and leads you into it's gaping maw. When you've passed the point of no return, you scarcely notice. You snuggle up to it's well-endowed bosom and suckle like a cub, not realizing that the efluvia you're ingesting is poison, damnit, poison! This site is like that, only funnier. It's not really that funny to laugh at the hardships of others. These people are mostly displaced by no fault of their own. They have been rejected by society, and must subsist on the hand outs and discarded waste of others. They sleep in the rain, have medical problems that go untreated for years, and are sometimes kidnapped by clandestine government organizations for use in weird psychological experiments(or just thrown through time rifts produced in Montauk(WTF?!)). But still, that is one funny site!

If you want to see an even more ridiculous site, these guys actually used their PTO to sleep on the streets and get a first person perspective of being homeless. The first and last question to ask these guys is, "Are you on glue?" By the way, it was hot as shit here in the fertile Valley Of The Silicon. 95 degrees, what is this, May or something?(local joke)

Wednesday, August 07, 2002

Please, please, puhleeze! Just vote RJ off. He fucking sucks! AND...he dressed like a pimp in the afterlife last night. I'm still pissed the public decided to vote the only really hot chick last week. So what if Ryan couldn't sing worth a shit? Neither can Brittany! This show may bring to light all the imperfections in western society, but even so; let's keep the cute ones up front, shall we?

Tuesday, August 06, 2002

I unfortunately had to go through the mind-numbing exercise of rewriting my resume last night. I learned a very important lesson: just keep the goddamn thing on your computer. Saving important documents like this to online data servers like just gives you a false sense of security. I stupidly thought this was an excellent way of keeping my precious papers safe, only to find that they had cancelled my account without even consulting me. These heartless bastards have no idea how much time and energy went into my poorly designed resume. My backup online storage facility was and, you guessed it, they went out of business. I felt like I was cursed. On the brighter side, the job I spent all this time getting my resume ready for is in the bag. I'm moving on from the sun-dappled streets to the dark confines of my company's NOC. Goodbye, sunshine. It was nice knowing you.

Monday, August 05, 2002

I finally downloaded a copy of Goldmember last night and right after watching it, I deleted the second reel. I know this doesn't sound like an earth shattering predicament to you, but this is my blog, so bear with me. I really liked this movie. It was a parody of every other Austin Powers movie, and though the jokes were a little out there, I still managed to laugh out loud a few times. i have one gripe, though: what was the purpose of Goldmember? We all have seen Mike Myers at work. nobody is denying his ability to bring life to a character. But Goldmember didn't even have that many lines! What the fuck, dude?
I am sure that this latest installment of the Austin Powers movies will be looked upon as the best, and it deserves that qualification, but I need depth in my characters. Like Fat Bastard.